ANNOUNCEMENTS FOR SPIRITUAL GROWTH
Do you have questions about any of the techniques in ThetaHealing at the foundational levels—Basic and Advanced? I’m giving a free ½ hr Q & A on Wednesday, August 16th at 7 PM PDT. This is for any of my students who took workshops in 2017. I have a new service, Zoom, so you can participate live, or you can send in questions ahead of time pertaining to the information that has been taught in the Basic and Advanced this year. Please email of your interest prior to August 15th at firstname.lastname@example.org.
For those who live in the North Bay area of San Francisco, I'm going to have a Facilitated Practicum in my Santa Rosa home workshop space on Wednesday, September 6th from 6:30 to 8. Mark your calendar for practice, camaradiere and support. Cost is $30. Please let me know by September 4th if you'll be attending. This will be for Basic and Advanced levels. For more information, contact me at email@example.com
ACCREDITED THETAHEALING WORKSHOPS
All courses are accredited by the ThetaHealing Institute of Knowledge® and can be applied toward the ThetaHealing® Master and Certificate of Science programs. If you have not taken the Basic or Advanced in 5 years, please be aware that this is the time for recertification in order to keep the name ThetaHealing® or ThetaHealing Technique® in use through your website, practice or business card. Reduced pricing is available if it's been 5 years or less. More information is at:
Advanced-August 4-6th, Friday-Sunday
Basic September 15-17th, Friday-Sunday
Dig Deeper Oct 14-15
If you have taken the Basic or Advanced in the last two years and have someone who you would like to introduce to this work, you can join them in the Basic for the 3 days and review for $45. What a great way to practice as well! You would bring your own materials. No certificate would be offered. Contact jd@thetahealingintuitive to let me know your interest.
BLOG FOR THE SOUL
Quote of the Month: 'Honesty' in social life is often used as a cover for rudeness. But there is quite a difference between being candid in what you're talking about, and people voicing their insulting opinions under the name of honesty. ~Judith Martin
Before I left on vacation (I went to Belgium and Italy), I read an article in the Business Insider by Benny Lewis, an Irishman who toured the US, discussing how he felt about Americans. His experience is certainly his own, and I’m not here to refute it. But to say that I disagree with many of his opinions, is definitely my truth.
Opinions and experience (one’s own truth) are two different things to me. Opinion is a belief or conclusion held with a certain level of confidence though there is no substantiation or facts that the information is actually true. An experience is being present to what is happening to and around us where it can be reported or shared. This entails personal observation or process where we encounter or undergo something leading to the accumulation of knowledge, awareness or skill (that was a mouthful). Basically, it’s one’s own truth embodied.
Benny’s first point, which gave me plenty to write about for this blog in-and-of-itself, is that “Americans are way too sensitive” with his understanding that “…speaking your mind to individuals is a major taboo.” I sensed that he was leading to the assertion of ‘why can’t we just let whatever we want to say just roll off of our tongue without censorship or discernment whether the person asked for it or not?’
He continued, “Nobody will ever tell you that you look like you could stand to lose a few pounds, and there's way too much euphemism to avoid the hard truth.”
Notice his generalization in using the word ‘nobody. ‘Nobody’ is like the words ‘never’ and ‘always’. They create polarizing conclusions or absolutes. One would need to be a statistician to come up with the numbers to have a discussion on who’s involved in such conclusions. I question whether Benny has met everybody to know what nobody wouldn’t tell him? I already realized that I was going to read something that was not in the communication style that would lend either humor or give me a feeling of relatedness.
I noticed the word ‘hard truth’ mentioned several times. Being told that your presence is irritating or wrong seemed to be his understanding of ‘honesty’. Well, honestly for me, it wouldn’t open a space to feel safe to speak, to be listened to, or to even want to get to know him. I really wondered how many people who he met traveling would inwardly feel disconnected from him though probably won’t say it for fear of not conforming, being confronted with more criticism, not feeling it’s being polite to a foreigner, or being a person who tends to act as a ‘people pleaser’.
His non-caring bluntness around weight reminded me that every time I use to visit with my father, which has been well over 20 years, his first comment out of his mouth was about whether I had gained weight or not. There was no, ‘I’m so glad to see you. How are you doing? I missed you.”
Did I feel like I wanted to connect further with my father? I think you can guess from the length of time I haven’t visited. (Just to say that this was certainly only one small piece of why I have not communicated with my father in years. And I have no malice, resentment, or grudges towards him. How we see things are just too different to find a commonality where my truth can be heard or who I am could ever be accepted.)
I learned 30 years ago in 12 Step Programs that what Benny’s expression of ‘hard truth’ implied, was really a form of projection also called ‘inventory taking’. Due to the fact that I was raised in a household and community where the authority figures had a need to say the ‘hard truth’ (which had nothing to do with truth but opinions that were being projected to make the other feel blamed, shamed or wrong), I was grateful to be able to unlearn what I considered ‘insensitive’ and disconnective ways. I instead learned to stop people from doing this to me by setting my boundaries and not accepting their projections as any sort of truth.
If Benny wants to call people like me ‘sensitive’ (in how he sets his criteria), so be it. I consider being sensitive, particularly without triggering, an essential quality that has shown me ways to develop my intuition, self respect, acceptance and being able to give myself a big pat on the back for being the unique me. And his opinion certainly wouldn’t have helped me heal and learn better ways to communicate.
Just to say that Benny had approximately a little over a year in living in different cities in the US to come to his ‘hard truth’ through his ‘honesty’. Really, one year in certain cities?! And then his generalizations are made as if he’s an expert on US behavior when we are such a melting pot of diverse cultures and different levels of psychological awareness. This is a good lesson on not generalizing around other cultures when we travel even if we notice similar patterns. To say, ‘This is true for a whole culture,” leaves out all the people who are actually attempting to grow, express their true individuality and change things in transformative ways.
Criticizing or acting with critical judgment doesn't make for truly caring connections no matter what culture. It propagates resentment, grudges, prejudices, and can create withholding, lashing or acting out. Being honest with another is asking if they want your comment or feedback, and if they do, saying it in a way that keeps the conversation in curiosity and/or care. If we want to create peaceful co-existence, the structures of conflict and projection are going to need to change.
For me, here's the thing about communication and culture…people often grow up being disrespected and told who they are. I sense this happens all over the world. Many will ultimately end up creating part of their identities out of others’ opinions. They may also end up projecting onto others like what was done to them. When people start to learn how to respect themselves and stop sourcing who they are from outside their core or center, honor their own boundaries, stop listening or accepting unsolicited advice and criticism, this world is going to be a very different place.
There are communication skills which need to be learned by many all over the world to create more heartful, caring and supportive dialogue. These skills--how to recognize communication nuances, ways to help make things more connective if that is what is the highest and best, and much more--are being written about in the up-and-coming Interconnective Communication gateways as the first part of The Moving Beyond Project series.
My business partner, Leila in Belgium, and I have been working on this project for over 2.5 years. In both of us coming from different countries and cultures, it has shown me better ways to understand our personal, country and world differences. It has also shown me the similarities in how we feel about being related to through caring communication.
May we all learn to be more mindful of our fellow humans, to be aware of eliminating generalizations and to be able to create more heartful connections rather than separatism due to others’ opinions, ‘hard truths’ and unsolicited ‘honesty’ by means of respectful inquiry and openness.
In care always,
I extracted possible ‘theme’ beliefs from the story. Energy test yourself for them, practice clearing them through digging if applicable, and use Creator's teachings, including the ones below, if they fit.
*Another’s opinion is more worthy of consideration than my experience
*My experience has less truth than others’ opinions of it.
*Being sensitive is something to be ashamed about.
*I allow others to diminish me for being sensitive.
*Making generalizations about outside situations help me get my point across in the best way.
*In order to be honest with others, I must tell them their wrongdoings or shortcomings so they will know the hard truth.
*To be respectful towards myself, I must allow in others’ opinions about me to be true.
*Honesty involves the hard, cold truth.
Helpful Creator’s teachings/downloads
I know what it feels like to, how to, when to, that it's possible, that I can, I do (or I am/am able to be):
*Creator’s definition of the truth in my opinions
*Creator’s definition of the truth in others’ opinions
*To discern the difference between my opinions and the opinions of others in what is Truth
*Difference between others’ opinions and my experience in a situation.
*To discern my experience from others’ opinions of it
*To live without generalizing about how others operate or feel
*Difference between hard truth and Creator’s truth
*Honest with others without projecting or taking their inventory
*To take inventory of what I can change about myself
*To respect myself by separating others’ opinions of me
*To discern others’ opinions of me from the truth of who I am
*To be respectful to myself without needing others opinions of me to filter in
*To be mindful of our fellow human’s vulnerabilities
*To be honest without projecting opinions as hard, cold truth
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